When things get too much

When, with reality, I need to lose touch

I don’t have to count to ten

Instead, I just pick up a pen

With the first pen stroke, the pain leaves

As  I enter a world of make-believe

The people there are real

They alone make me feel.

With them, I dare to dream

And things aren’t as bad as they seem

They not only know my name

They are glad I came.

In the world of make believe

Red, yellow and orange color the leaves

I’m surrounded by pretend friends’ laughs

In which my soul takes cleansing baths

Writing is my friend

It helps the pain end

It shows me real joy

Lets me forget to worry

So thankful am I

For the gift that lets me fly

Beside me, it’ll say

I pray.


One day into a shop I walked

I didn’t go there to talk

But just to coffee buy

My last before I would die.

Life had not been good

I had a house and food

But not warmth, support or love

I was lonely as Noah’s dove.

I could never have begun to dream

I’d buy more than coffee and cream

An old man at me glanced

Then, with sugar, my coffee, he lanced

Handing it to me

He let my wallet be

And said instead, “Drink it slow.”

I nodded, still feeling low.

I sat at a quiet table

Far away from the cable

My thoughts on my suicide plan

How to use the gun that came from the store I ran.

It would be done with ease

The plan wasn’t a tease

I did believe

My pain, it would relieve

I deeply inhaled

But, to catch my breath, failed

So I looked at the drink

A face I saw in its brink

Startled, I looked at it close

Saw my little sister, holding a rose

I must be crazy, I thought

But my heart fought

I was frightened now, my breathing quite fast

For I’d love them even when my heart beat its last

I suddenly thought,  “They need a note”

And took a pencil from my coat.

On a napkin, an apology I began to write

I remembered memories that were sweet and right

For hurting them my with my death, I felted shame

Though my choice, I knew they’d feel blame

But, oh how heavy the pain

Worse than any blow from any cane

How could I live on this Earth

When a grave mistake was my birth?

I looked again at the coffee hot

And saw my beloved curled on a cot

In pain from my pain, I knew

And the shame in me, it grew

My eyes filled with tears

For numerous were my fears

Yet hurting them, I knew I couldn’t bear

For they cared.

They loved me

Though hard it was to see

Outstretched were their helping hands

They would help me stand

I stopped writing the note

For it wasn’t needed now, what I wrote

I looked again at the coffee fill

It was now empty and still.

No face at me was staring

And no one asked how I was faring

But the page had been turned

The lesson of life learned.


So many homes to visit

Upon many rooftops does my sleigh sit

All the good girls and boys

Are asleep, making no noise

North Pole elves worked hard

To make dolls and playing cards

Now it’s my time

To deliver toys so fine

When I saw your house from the sky above

I smiled;  it is the one I love

For you’re so good every year

Bringing nary a tear

All your bright smiles

Stretch across the miles

Straight to me at the North Pole

Until I can’t wait to go

So down your chimney I come

Into your lovely and warm house

Little noise do I make

So you won’t awake

In morning you’ll see

That on my good list you’ll still be

I take the glass you set out of milk

And leave this note by your quilt

Rudolph is waiting

As I look at your stocking hanging

You shouldn’t at all fear

I know I’ll be back next year.


“Mama, why is the sky blue?”

“Because of the ocean’s hue.”

T’was a short walk before the girl

Wonders why the ocean has pearls

About all things she wonders

And, over the answers, she ponders

For in a different light

Does she see the world’s plight

Only five and yet full of will

With two parents whose love is real

They love her thoughts

And know she may be right!

Then one dark night

Her daddy protected freedom’s light

And ended the fight

By giving his life

“Mama, what is death?

“When, this world, one has left.”

T’was an answer for the young

Mother knew not the wisdom it sprung

Later, the girl watched her mother

Stand over her father as though she were another

To her mother’s side, the girl went to stand

And slipped tiny fingers into Mother’s hand

“Mama, why are you crying?”

“Because, I miss your daddy.”

“But Mama,” says the girl in a voice soft and slim

“Now his love for us will never, ever dim.”



Little One hears a cricket’s song

For the sound, he’s waited long

It’s just beyond the window

In the meadow with the gentle doe

It’s time to sleep

But stories within him leap

Last night, with an elf he played

And violet flowers together they made

In the land of his dream

Joy and laughter exist, it seems

While in daylight, he just waits

To play with his magical nighttime mates

Oh, could it be real?

The awe he feels

Though alone in life and school

His dream friends, he doesn’t have to fool

While his eyes are closed

In perfect peace he will dose

In dreamland, he wants to stay

And live in safety, if he may

Still, he always awakes

Through reality, his way, he makes

It is still the dream’s splendor

That gives him hope and wonder

So, once again, his brown eyes close

He drifts away to where he can make a rose

All his loneliness and fear stay at bay

While in dreamland, he stays.


The stress of each day piles high

Until darkness is nigh

The responsibilities I hold

Sometimes leave me weary, and cold.

To remain sane, I need an escape

A way to, with the stress, joy tape

Fortunate then am I

For I know how to fly

To others it is just a book

To be hidden away in some nook

To me, it hold’s Dreamland

Where magic exists in a mortal’s hand

To them, I am just reading

But no!  My soul, I am feeding

I know the secret of words

They are mightier than swords

Reading lets me forget my worries

And build my hope with stories

Even my darkest fear

Is eased when a good book is near

I smile, I laugh, I pray

All while reading words that upon paper lay

Throughout the day, lives of fictional heroes

Remain in me til happiness grows

Its a great gift God gave

To read of how others behave

For their lives are reflections

Of my highest dreams of connections

I lay down the book for reality

And burdens weigh with finality

But  I know stories await

And with a good novel,  I’ll have another date.


Staring out at the sky

A million thoughts dancing in her head

Wishing that morning were nigh

Wishing her life were a story she read

Quiet and shy

Ever alone

She wishes for wings to fly

For into yesteryear troubles to have flown

Staring out at the stars

Wishing again for love

That would erase scars

And offer peace she only dreams of

Red lights and blue ones too

Signal the holidays are near

Decorated shops people run into

For gifts meant to bring cheer

Songs of laughter and reindeer

Echo through the streets

It’s a holiday to revere

And children hunger for treats

Yet all the while

She sits silently by

Plasters onto her face a smile

While in her heart, she’ll sigh

It’s not that she’s sad

She’s really almost content

But her heart’s not quite glad

She’s not sure where joy went

So now, by the fire, she’ll sit

And watch the holiday parade

Wishing for things she can’t get

Wondering how many shoppers live a charade